when the others turn you off, who'll be turning you on?

check out my site and eat at chili's
www.countercontact.com

print the coupon.. come see me!

he found me on linkedin.com..... ugh.. what to do.... when my head is totally all over the place, and my mom told me they're giving my grandfather less than 24 hours to live, you up and decide you wanna talk to me again?! ugh



i hate this... i'm so void rght now.. i have no idea how to feel.

damn its been a long time...

hmm..
not much is happening...

chai and i are still together.. going on 10 months now.. craziness

going to the hockey game tonight...

work sucks...

money sucks..

grandfather got moved to a private room!! yay and now he's on solid foods...


things could be worse i guess

:)

let's see...

i haven't drank in 9 days...

i have horrible cramps, but better cramps then no cramps...(almost got scared)

chai and i just had our 6 month...(on the 29th, so its been a couple weeks)

being in a relationship is still really really weird to me, i don't know what to do sometimes... sometimes he smothers me, others i feel like i'm being ignored.. is this how guys act?? but then he's so sweet to me on top of that?!

i'm in love with the fucker, i really am, but... i hate how emotionally unstable men can be, not like girls are any better...(i'd know)

i miss my adj!!! so very much it hurts!!

blah... long week.. i hate my job, need a new one asap!

in tn...

i've been sooo worried about chai and i's relationship after the freak out.. he didn't call me or text me all day yesterday, but he did all day today.. he told me that he didn't call me because he knew i needed time with my girls, which i think was really really nice of him... however the plot has thickened...

dave s.. the guy that was with me and bernice when the shoot out happened.... we got each other's numbers because i felt like he basically saved our lives, so... he's been texting me like nonstop and telling me how awesome i am and how beautiful i am, and its soo weird.. like he wants to drive up to see me, and i keep telling him no... grrrr

why

yeah...

almost got shot

ok

i guess

i love lauren soo much!!


i love all of my friends!

i love life...

i'm so glad i didn't die..

things look totally different from this angle... really they do

what a good weekend! started earlier than the weekend, on weds, finally hung out with adriana!! finally got caught up on my best friend's life and she on mine.:) It was so awesome to hang out with her, we got mexican food, then alec and daniel met up with us there, and then we got some wine and she introduced me to "First Person". What a great fuckin show!!

Friday....worked all day... exhausting... went to the masquerade with christy for fuze. i was a little let down because not a lot of people showed up, i felt bad for the talent to have such a shit response:( i got drunk nonetheless, but i think it was only because i was soo tired. i was yawning on the dance floor....thats sooo not me.:)spent some real good time with chai...anxiously waiting for him to meet adriana.:)

saturday....chai wakes me up in the usual way :) which is always nice...he goes to work.. i bum around the house in pj's til 7pm when adj calls and says she did well on her test so we must celebrate! we go to the highlander for food and beer, and jager:) then we go to lenny's to meet up with chai and brad.. there was a weird vibe there at first but then it was awesome. my best friend finally met my boyfriend and they like each other:) i saw soo many people and i wish i could have stayed longer but i was pooped..

today...hung out with chai all day... just hung out.. just talked, and hugged and snuggled... no sex, nothing gettin in the way but us just being us.. it felt nice... it really did... then he ordered records, so he can compete in the 404 contest.. i know he'll do well:)


great great weekend!

today at work i almost lost my job...

we have 3 black managers... and they tried to write ME up for being racist....

and unprofessional...


i am sooo angry... i cannot wait to blow that building up!

my fucking boyfriend is half black! are you fucking serious?~!


i hate my job every day more and more!

today is chai and i's 4 month anniversary.. its so strange.. like, i still feel single sometimes.. not in a bad way, like a guy that gives me space? thats unheard of ;) its great because we can both actually and genuinely say we love each other... scary huh? i do love this man.. i really do.. he compliments me so well.. i just don't want to lose him.. he says i worry too much about him and us, but i'm not used to a guy hanging out very long anymore.. after the whole "asshole" incident, which, i've told him all about, its hard for me to trust that anyone, whether it be a boyfriend or a new friend, just wants to be around me because i'm me. i'm insecure, i know.. but the people i love always leave, and i don't wanna fuck this up.. because dammit, i love that crazy fucker!